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Monday, May 11, 2009
di sini, inginku ucapkan Selamat Hari Ibu buat ibuku yang tercinta ; Rohana Bte Mustafa. tiada pemberian dari jari jemariku, tiada ungkapan kata kata manis dari bibirku - buatmu. hanya sekadar rintihan sepi bahawa puterimu ini terlalu amat meyayangimu, sungguh. tonight sucks. becos i keep reminiscing about my life. 2oo8 changed me. one problem after another. i still remembered how badly i made my mum cried, then i cried and we hugged each other tightly. apologised tapi apologise taik kuceng. i still do it. recalling how my dad talked to me about how disappointed he is. lepak dgn members semua laki laki, hisap rokok smpi 4 pagi. perempuan jenis aper macam nie? perempuan takde harge diri. until one huge, major problem hits me early this year. sumpah, aku benci kau teramat sangat. dan aku tak akan dapat lupekan kau sampai bila bila pon. but i cant blame you totally becos its partly my fault too. kerane kau, hidop aku tunggang tebalek. pelajaran aku, daripade top 25% of level, teros gred tong sampah. dalam class, tido, bebual, tak pay attention, nangis even during geog. pelajaran wise, its more becos of S actually when he left me. and that, ive quit school when i know ive the potential. character wise, aku makin berani. dah tak sedarkan diri. sampai bapak dah hilang kepercayaan dier sepenuhnye pade aku. macam mane aku buat bapak sendiri nangis. macam mane aku buat ibu dgn bapak susah tido mlm pikerkan aku. macam mane aku malukan ibu dgn bapak depan orang. adek adek aku sampai tau tentang cerite aku. anak, kakak dan lebih lebih lagi, hamba allah macam aper aku nie? diriku bergelumang dgn dose. aku malu dgn semua... maafkan ez, S. maafkan i, L. shocked by hearing my keluhan? hah, told you so. i want to change for the better. i need to learn how to CONTROL. amek kau obat. perhaps a guardian angel? HAAH. go away. i dont need anyone. |
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