aku dengar dengan telinge aku dengan jelas kate kate nie keluar dari mulot dier. aku dengar dengan jelas jugak dier kate kat aku, "you are not ready."

Me: yanty, aku tk faham. am i not ready to be with azhar?

Her: why baby?

Me: he said that yday ):

Her: he said that the first time too. Not that kau tk ready, ure just not used to being the girlfriend he wants.. He shouldnt expect too much from u. Which is what he did.

aku masih tak mengerti.. and why azhar? why ungkit kisah lame tentang kite? kau tau aku tak suke lagi kau bebual pasal kite.. he was sitting on my left side. there was this mesra couple walking on my right that seemed to caught my attention. suddenly he went,

Him: knp you tngk dorg gitu mcm? you tngk kat dorg, i tngk kan you dari tadi..

Me: ape maksod you? i saje je pe tngk kat dorg.

Him: tkmo bedek. i tau you rindukan love life kite dulu kan? i tengok dari mate you, i tau you masih sayangkan i..

Me: asal nie you bebual pasal nie...

Him: why not? i kasi you peluang skrg untuk bebual pasal kite.. asl you masih sygkan i?

Me: i tanak bebual pasal nie kay you. please..

Him: i kire smpi 10. you tanak bebual jgn menyesal kay.. 1..2...3...

Me: you please..

Him: 7..8..

Me: yes azhar. i masih sayangkan you.. dari time kite kenal kenal, i ade crush kat you.. smpi skrg pon i masih teringat ingat pasal you.. but theres like NO POINT talking about this cos i tau kite tak boleh patah balik macam dulu azhar...


friday, 270810, 2110pm. we met after a month. so much for 'i dont wish to see your face again, you hear me?' aper bebual ez? you went against your words.. he wanted to borrow yanty's laptop actually but since yanty wasnt free, he texted me. teperanjat kejap. kesian nye pasal, aku jumpe dier.. we met at pm since he forget my blk. aku rase die step lupe, padahal tmpt kite lalu semua memories kite die boleh ingat sial. lagi dier yang start dulu all the 'u ingat tak tmpt nie?' ohh i was shocked that dier dfiubusde. used th laptop kat bawa blk cos i dont dare to bawak die naek. not th right time yet.

i was happy. happy to spend time with him, anukan bende dier semua.. yanty came at arnd 11pm and off we go to playground biase. talk talk talk. he has so much problems.. i was shock that rahmat treats him so differently now.. look at what i used to wrote, 'i hope R dah sedar and left A all alone by himself and that'll make A sedar.. ehh diam bodoh eeza. sedar tak sedar dier tak akan carik kau lagi laa sial.' it really happen.

yanty went off at 2am since she was sleepy. azhar didnt want to go home yet. since he was sevkses i took care of him. headed to th hall near my blk. talk talk talk. he cried.. it really hurts cos i cant do anything to ease his pain, and that ive promised him not to text mat. dont ever say you're alone azhar. im always here with you...

dah kol 4am and ive got to sahur. teman him cari taxi but he still dont want to go home yet. die nak jalan jalan and nak carik cash deposit. i told him to wait under my blk first while i ate. dah turon, kite jalan route jauh. aku sengaje.. nak jalan jalan sangat kan. amek you. hahah. ade kucing jinak gile ikot kite dari traffic light pm. we love cats and azhar gi dukung tu kucing. kite memain nan tu kucing smpi 7 11 blk syaf, dier belikan makanan kucing. sumpah dier cute. aku ni yang takot bile kucing tu dekat nan aku cos its terlampau jinak. we sang his song, 'sejak bertemeow dgn diri meow, hatiku meow meow!'

went to estate shukor sane. jauh kan kite jalan. haha. had a small tiff with him but tkd pape uh. he wanted to carik Axs machine pulak. so jalan smpi pm. was happy dapat jalan all th way nan dier pegang tgn kes mcm pengantin since dier enjfefnlwe. we talked a lot along th way. da smpi pm, kite dudok kat steps a while. then gerak carik taxi. jalan smpi blk acap sane. jauh gile aku bawak die. haha. berpisah arnd 0645am.

all i knw is i had so much fun laughing with him that morning <3