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Thursday, May 14, 2020
Hi Blogger. It has been a while since I last pen down my thoughts. I don't know how to start this off.. I have tons to express myself, but I just kinda feel devastated. Tired. Pain. Numb. This Ramadhan is definitely a test for me. Saat aku cuba balik untuk mendekatiMu, berserah kepadaMu, aku diuji. Aku lalai selama ni.. Mungkin aku belum cuba sepenuhnya untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik.. Tapi aku dah penat sangat untuk terus bertahan dan bersabar lagi... Jika dia bukan untukku, kau jauhkanlah dia daripadaku.. Toxic. That's the word to describe the relationship. Maybe we both will be just a lesson for one another. We both do not understand one another. Always picking up fights. We both came from different family background. Truth be told, I'm tired with his family. Bila kau kahwin dengan seseorang, kau kahwin dengan keluarga dia sekali. I just wish I have a wonderful mother-in-law whom I can love dearly like my own mother. But with that character ... It is a sin, yes. Dosa aku tanggung. But how can I ikhlaskan hati diri sendiri eh? Susah. Been through too much already la. I've been keeping quiet all this while and show my respect cos I still pandang dia. If everything is over, you stay away from me. DON'T MAKE ME LET LOOSE. YOU WON'T LIKE TO SEE THAT PART OF ME. I've been keeping a hell lot inside. Doesn't mean you are older, you deserve respect. Doesn't mean you are older, you are always right. Stop nosing around in our affairs as well. I was upset at first but now I just feel so angsty thinking about all of this. I should end here for now. Bye. |
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